Sista, Sister

Sistas, we're not sisters
when we put each other down,
when the only thing that feels good
knocks our sista to the ground.

Sistas, we're not sisters
when we judge from seats on high
fellow sistas we look down on
and ridicule as they walk by.

Sistas, we're not sisters
if our only claim to fame
is how we elevate ourselves
as we trash our sista's name.

Sistas, we're not sisters,
not when we believe it's weak
just to rise above the drama,
simply turn the other cheek.

Sistas, we're not sisters
when we read, write and erase,
roll our eyes and suck our teeth,
put our palm in sista's face.

We sistas say we're "sisters,"
yet we have the awful knack
of putting down those we call sisters,
plunging daggers in their backs.

Oh, my sista, not yet sister,
please don't get an attitude.
Why not ask yourself this question:
Is it you I'm talking to?

'Cause if it is, my future sister,
put the drama on the shelf
and realize that how you treat me
shows how much you love yourself.

(I started writing this blog entry last July and think the message is still right on time, so here it is ...)

Yesterday, I hosted a girls-only "soiree in the afternoon" in my home. Not being one to make friends easily (I have built walls, you see), I invited women who have children to come over and spend an afternoon without their children in the company of other women who have children. Some of these women I know fairly well, while others not so much. They all arrived with one thing in common and left, I think, with the realization that they have so much more in common than they knew.

You see, as women, we have so much that unites us. We may look different, think differently, be at different stages in our lives or careers, have different philosophies and faiths, but we really are sisters. We really are in search of a way to get past the things that would separate us and can make us feel so alone. It's just so difficult to focus on the areas of commonality when life makes it so much easier to focus on the differences, on the reasons we really should stay apart from one another - we don't have time to spend together, too many responsibilities and expectations we have to live up to.

There is so much out there that is more important than the ties that bind us together that we lose sight of the fact that we need support to handle everything else. The sad thing is that when we test them, those ties that bind us are strong enough to provide a lot of the support we need. If we would only realize that we are never stronger than when we do stand together and support one another, we would be able to accomplish so much more.

Loneliness is a dangerous thing - sisterhood is a healing thing.